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Appropriate housing for aging parent

Last year, my mother broke her hip. It was a long recovery and for a time, we thought she'd be going into a LTC facility. She did recover and was sent home in February. She lives in a 1 bedroom apartment on her own. Since then, we've had 4 trips back to the emergency room for various reasons and she's fallen a number of times. The last being over this past weekend. She's had no serious injury but we're fearful..it's only a matter of time...it's not safe for her to live on her own. We've been trying to convince her to consider an assisted living facility and I think, finally, she is. I've been trying to gather information and am somewhat confused. Some assisted living facilities are listed under LTC and others are not. Should I be looking under LTC and applying thru CCAC? Unfortunately, we cannot afford to pay for her care independently. Her caseworker told me that she can be put on the list for assisted living but that we don't have a choice of facility and she would not provide us with a list of facilities available to us so we could tour them ahead of time. How can that be? I want to make sure we look at the appropriate facility for Mom but I feel like my efforts are being blocked. Any advice would be appreciated. Thank you!

September 19, 2011 | By: Tammy | 3 comment(s) | Filed under:

1 mary Sep 19 2011

Hi Tammy:

I am so sorry to hear about your mother’s problems and your problems trying to understand “the system” It is not easy. I hope we can help you. Let me start by saying that “Assisted Living” is a fancy term that is used in both the private / for profit seniors homes and also used by the LTC homes that are regulated by the province. You might want to check out both types and compare prices.

The LTC / governmemnt run homes can only be accessed through the CCAC. The CCAC is the “middle man” between the senior and the home. They make all the arrangements. Depending on where your mother lives - the wait lists can be very long to get into these places. I know one 91 year old man who has waited over 15 months to be placed. If you let me know what area of the province your mother wants to live, I can help direct you to people and websites that will help. Does your mother live in the same area now as you? If not, that is something else to think about. Do you want her to live close by?

I will be happy to help you all that I can. I can remember how hard, frustrating and seemingly hopeless many days were. Give me some basic information and I will help you all I can.

Mary

2 mary Sep 23 2011

Hi Tammy:

Why don’t you ask the people that are giving your Mom the assistance now about the terms for those services. Ask them that she moves in with you, would that charge what services she gets? Tell them that you are not sure about this, but just trying to understand the rules.

If she can keep those services and move in with you that might be a good idea and save some rent money. I suggest that you speak with several home care agencies to understand their programs and prices. It may sound silly, but you also have to add the taxes. It adds up quickly and it all has to be funded. Some people also decide to find help on their own through family contacts.

There are of course pros and cons for her moving in with you. It will give you the peace of mind that she is with you. It will also be alot more work for you and your husband. All three of you will suffer from lack of freedom and independence, which can make for a more stressful home life. I must tell you though that you are lucky to have a supportive husband, not all women can say that.

I know that many agencies offer all kinds of different programs and services. For example, in the GTA through a home care agency, you could hire a companion to take your Mom shopping or to a doctor’s appointment for aprox. $20 + tax. You can hire a PSW (Personal Support Worker) who can help with baths, etc. for about $22.50 per hour+ tax.

There are many different types of seniors living residences. You can look at places that offer nice size suites, meal packages, etc. These require no approval from the CCAC.

The CCAC must be involved when someone moves to a long term care facility. They ask you to submit your 5 favourite places. Their fees are regulated.

I think one of the worst things to do is to move a parent too often from one place to another. Older people do not do well with change, especially in their living arrangements. Keep her with you for as long as that works for everyone. Use some of her former rent money on help for her during the day. Getting some extra help will give her a sense of independence that she needs.

I have written a recent article called: “Home Cents” – it speaks to the costs and issues of seniors homes. I am attaching a link to that article. It is on the home page of the website for this senior’s magazine called “Caregiver Solutions”. It is listed in the moving horizontal list of articles. Click on that and it might also help you.

http://www.solutions-online.ca

Best of luck, and let me know how things go.

Mary