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Losing my ‘Best Friend’

I lost my father in 2003. He fell from 10 feet up and spent 9 days in the hospital trying to recover from a few broken ribs and a broken collar bone. I still blame hospital neglect for his death as they did not noticed his punctured lung until it was too late. I was Daddy's little girl. My parents were divorced and he was remarried. I knew I would be okay after his death because in the hospital 12 hours before he passed he was calling for me and told me 'Let me go, let me go, let me go to the light, to the light.' I did not know what that meant at the time as I was not thinking he was going to die, I just thought he was cold and the flourescent light above him was warm and he wanted to be warmer. He was also tied to the bed so he would not pull his feeding tube or lung tube out. The next day after he passed my step sister said to me 'The Light' and at that moment I knew I would be okay. He wanted to make sure that I knew that he was going to be fine and it was his way through spirit to tell me.

Last year though my Mother, my best friend, died in a car accident. I can not believe that she is gone still. It still aches in my heart. I talked to her everyday on the phone. I miss picking up the phone and just talking to her about my day especially what my boys had done or doing. My boys were 11, 4 and 2 when she died. She was leaving her husband and moving to our home across provinces when she passed. Her husband was abusive and I do not have a relation with him anymore. He beat her badly and almost killed her. It hurts because there was absolutely no sign that she was going to die like my father gave me one. I hate the fact that she did not get the chance to be here with us at all and the last conversation I had with her she said that she will never miss one of the boys birhtdays again and the next time her husband made her mad that she would be on her way here. She never made it and the only reason is because he would have come aftermy family here. He always told her that the only way she would leave him would be on the end of a shotgun. I miss her more than anything. I am not sure why I am writing this on this site and I do not know if it will help but I need to share this story as I feel like I am an orphan at 34. Being Daddy's little girl and Mom's best friend I just feel I have been robbed in life. Why me?

Dear Orphanat34.

I wish I could give you a big hug. You have been through alot in the last few years. It is one thing as we know a parent has declining health (that is hard enough) but to have the other die suddenly just must have turned your world upside down.

There are days and nights when the loss of missing my parents overtakes me. I do however gain comfort from sharing my story with others and knowing that others share my loss helps me get through my day.

Thank you for taking the time to share your story with our community. There are thousands of people all over the world that you have touched and yes, even helped today! Please drop by again whenever you need a virtual hug.

Mary

October 27, 2011 | By: orphanat34 | 0 comment(s) | Filed under: